by Amanda Brock

Running a non-profit means my professional world is all about giving. Ironically, that means I need to do a lot of asking.

I’m constantly asking others to give time, money, talent, or whatever resource they have available (a kidney?) to help Spark move the needle on gender equality. Having to ask so much of others can feel a bit uncomfortable. Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Before working in the social impact space full-time, I volunteered regularly in a variety of ways, from planting vegetables in school gardens to providing childcare for families transitioning out of homelessness. Like many people, I did this because I enjoyed seeing the immediate impact I was able to have on the lives of others.

When I began working for a non-profit, the tables turned. I was no longer being asked. I was the one asking. And with a lean non-profit the asks are many: for discounted or donated food, drink, event space, graphic design, legal counsel — you name it. And then, of course, there’s asking your entire Facebook feed to show up to events and donate. It’s like I am always sending an SOS into the world.

But I’ve gotten past the guilt. I’ve realized that asking people to give back is a gift. Not once has someone said yes and later regretted it. More often than not, our asking opens a door for others to contribute in ways they might not know exist. Those opportunities can change lives.

That said, asking others to give is not always easy. Here are five tips for mustering up the courage to do it:

1.) Ask with integrity: Make sure “The Ask” is coming from an honest place, people can smell frauds. Be sincere and truly grateful for anyone who gives you their resources. Thank seven times more than you ask.

2.) Love your cause: People are drawn to passion. Even if your cause isn’t the cause of someone else’s dreams, they may want to help you when they see how much you care. Be authentic, show how much their support means to you.

3.) Realize you are a portal for good: People are looking for ways to give back and you might have just the opportunity they’ve been looking for. Don’t think of an ask as a burden, but rather the opening of a door that brings value into the lives of others.

4.) Recognize you’re not a mind reader: While we’d like to think that people could read our minds, they cannot… yet. We know this in dating and it’s the same in philanthropy. People need to be invited to give. Plus, they may be honored that you thought of them to help with some project in the first place.

5.) Know that “no” doesn’t always mean no: The more you ask people to help, the more you realize a “no” is really a “no, not right now,” or some version of that. Anticipating the “no” is far scarier than the reality of it, especially when the reasons for saying “no” often have little to do with you.

Cultivate your courage in the name of social impact. Dare to ask people to join you in giving back. I bet you will be surprised. I myself have been amazed over and over again at the selflessness of others. Humanity does exist. Go out and ask for it!